Welcome Avery Jean!

Why have I been completely AWOL from blogland, you ask? (Because I know you *totally* asked.)

I had a baby!

My baby bean arrived in this world August 25th at 1:34pm weighing 7 pounds 4 ounces and 21 inches long.

She had a little cone head since momma’s birth canal just wasn’t having the round little pumpkin she started with. However, it’s already going back to it’s sweet little roundness.

And I will always stand by the story that Avery wanted to wait for daddy and let momma have the most stress-free birth possible by not starting up until the house was in order, Loki and the dogs were fed and taken care of, and everything was as perfect as it could be. Thank you, Avery Jean. <3

Also, take heed that I am a writer, so this isn’t going to be a summary.

I was laying in bed quite exhausted from a rough night’s sleep the previous night, getting all bundled up in my blanket and pillow castle, and finally closing my computer lid. In order for my hips to not feel like they were going to completely detach from one another, I always had a king-size pillow between my legs – and had mused but a couple days before that if I were lucky enough to have my water break, it was convenient I could have that giant sponge between my legs and not ruin our bed.

Almost as soon as I was comfortable (at around 11pm), I felt a pop in my lower stomach. I assumed it was just gas (as I had had quite an amazing old wive’s tale-style dinner of a jalapeno burger, jalapeno poppers, and a Dr. Pepper), so I went to push it out a little and suddenly I felt like I was peeing myself a little. Immediately I knew it was my water. My heart started pounding from the adrenaline that comes with early labor, and I waddled with the pillow between my legs to the bathroom saying, literally out loud, “It’s better to ruin a pillow!”

I stood in the shower for a second just to make sure of where it was coming from, then sat down on the toilet to call Heather, my midwife. She was excited but focused and told me to call Thomas because labor would be in the next 24 hours. I asked her, “Really?!” which was later a very amusing thing to say at the moment. I was just really excited to see him again.

Heather asked how I was feeling and I told her my contractions were coming on a little stronger but nothing unbearable and that I thought I could sleep through them. She told me to take a shower, relax, eat something, and try to rest or sleep if I could and to call if anything big changes. Needless to say, the adrenaline didn’t help that I needed to sleep – I got maybe a 30 minute nap right before Thomas got here.

I called Julie, my doula, to tell her the news, and she was very excited and asked me how I was feeling. She said the same things Heather suggested and that she would get her bag packed and take a shower and go to sleep in order to prepare for the impending labor. Again, “call me if anything changes,” and we hung up.

I was feeling just fine although the contractions were still coming, but I had been taught to know the signs of serious labor versus the beginning stages which can be drawn out, and I trusted that my intuition would tell me if I needed to be at the birthing center. I had to call Thomas twice to wake his sleepy self up.

“Hello?” he said, painfully drowsily.
“Honey, my water broke. Heather said you need to come down.”
“Okay, I love you, I’ll be there soon.” Still drowsy and calm.
“Be safe honey, no speeding.”

Short and sweet. (Funny that he didn’t speed and yet still got pulled over. He was the only one on the road, so a cop pulled him over out of boredom. Unlucky for us, the registration and inspection are out on the Blazer, but he let him go with a warning and a congratulations.)

I made sure the bags were sufficiently packed, that Loki had food, and that everything was in order. I called my aunt and grandma, despite knowing they wouldn’t answer, and I tried to lay down to rest. But, like I said, the adrenaline definitely was keeping me awake despite that I even felt completely exhausted. I updated Facebook (of course) and sat on the computer playing around, trying to numb my brain to sleep.

Thomas kept calling to check on me, but the drive from San Angelo has a lot of dead zones, so he just resorted to updating me on cities he was passing through. Finally, around 3am, he arrived. I told him he needed to get some rest, as I wasn’t sure when the show would get rolling, and he’d need his strength. I knew he wakes up for work at 5am every morning and had maybe only had an hour of sleep before I called. He told me he was wide awake, but that he’d try. And he did go to sleep shortly afterward, as I napped half-heartedly for a few hours before I got the intuition that I needed to be near my midwife.

At 7am, I called Heather to tell her the contractions were getting stronger and she asked me if I felt like I needed to be at the birthing center. I told her that I did think I needed to, so she said she’d shower and be there in about 45 minutes. I called Julie to tell her when we’d be there and she sounded so happy.

Thomas made breakfast – eggs, potatoes, toast with coffee and water – to take with us, and he prepared the truck. I laid in bed resting since sleep was unreachable at this point. On the way to the birth center, we noticed the beautiful sunrise; I mused how I hadn’t seen one in so long, and that it was truly an amazing sunrise – perfect for the day of Avery’s birth.

We got to the birth center around 8am and I was having contractions I had to focus on a little and they were consistent and getting closer together. I never counted them because I honestly was very focused on the fact that my body would tell me when labor was progressing, when it was time to push, etc., and wasn’t concerned with all the scientific pieces of the puzzle that honestly vary so greatly from woman to woman.

I was told to go pee (emptying the bladder makes room), and then I sat down in the spacious entry area where the family would wait if we were having any. I was focusing through contractions, just breathing in and out and relaxing all my muscles so that they weren’t painful particularly yet. It was amazing to know that my knowledge of relaxation and breathing was the reason I could find my focus, find my calm during the waves. I got through my two scrambled eggs and a little bit of potatoes and toast before I just didn’t want anymore. Thomas had had to run back to the house because we had left the frozen washcloths and pot pies (for afterward!) in the freezer, and he didn’t want me to stress at all. Luckily we only live about a five minute drive from there!

This continued for about an hour and a half and Heather and Julie both told me to go pee again. I was feeling pretty capable of functioning on my own, but they told Thomas to not leave my side so he came with me. By the time I closed the door on the bathroom I started having surges of strong contractions so that I started vocalizing the breathing louder and they started piling on top of each other. I never made it to the toilet!

Thomas stood there holding me up as I breathed in and out through the contractions and Julie checked on me. This is where I have to ask Thomas what exactly happened because if there ever were a labor zone a woman goes into…I was IN it. I don’t think I even opened my eyes at all beyond this point. I just trusted my caretakers and listened to my body – everything else didn’t exist. However, every decision made was asked of me first…nothing was demanded or pressured upon me (except when I was being stubborn and didn’t want to drink water/gatorade).

I started out on the birth ball in the shower. I stripped naked and Julie ran the warm water all over me while I breathed through the stronger contractions. I was still able to talk a little bit in between the contractions, but then it started getting much too strong to do anything but solely focus on breathing. Once they started getting extremely powerful, I moved to the birthing tub where pushing began.

Julie replenishing the frozen washclothes – a saving grace when I was too hot!

I can say that the contractions were more painful and the pushing stage was more of an extremely uncomfortable pressure. It was bearable. I could do it. I kept telling myself in my head to relax my body (because I knew going into it that I tense my shoulders) and that every push was bringing her closer to me. And I involuntarily pushed. I never once was told to push, nor did I push out of frustration or impatience. It came naturally and with the supportive words of Julie and Heather, Julie’s constant replenishing of my frozen rags (I complained of being hot the whole time), Thomas’ tireless pressure on my hips, the other midwife Sandy’s energy cures (a strong, cold herbal tea and these minty herbal capsules that melted in my mouth) when I was feeling utterly depleted…my whole team was the most amazing force I could have ever had.

[Thomas told me later he was crying from the moment the contractions started because he wanted to take the pain away from me. You can tell how he was connecting with me every contraction, every small break, every breath in all the pictures. He knew exactly when to put pressure and listened to my every desire and want the whole time without a single peep otherwise. He did his best to assure me, reaffirm me, and encourage me - and stop talking when I asked him (nicely, surprisingly!) to just be there for me without words. I love my husband.]

Thomas in tune with me and what I needed in the birth tub.

My momma bear growls became deeper and deeper (as Julie and Heather kept reminding me to dig deep with my vocalizations, to force them down onto the top of my uterus to help push her out), and I had to get out of the tub – the heat was distracting me. So Heather and Thomas managed to get me onto the bed with no help from me, as I was so physically exhausted from lack of sleep going in, that I could barely hold myself up any longer.

We tried a couple positions, and I finally ended up on my side angled up a little bit in Julie’s arms. Thomas was no longer pushing on my hips but was holding my right leg up so that my pelvis was open. I held on for dear life to Julie’s bra strap as I pushed in waves. She joked that she felt bad because her big boobies were right in my face, and I told her it was strangely comforting to have something there! I was getting massively exhausted by this point so I was being force-fed gatorade, water, and the minty herbal pill.

Julie talking me through a contraction.

She was coming, and I could feel her head just pushing to come out. They could see the top of her hairy brown head but I kept losing steam before she would get much further. The whole time, Avery’s heart rate was being monitored and at one point when her head was coming down and out, it started to rise. At that time, I had lost a little focus on deep grunts to use as energy to get her out and was almost hyperventilating of sorts. With every sort of encouragement, they told me I needed to breath and focus the energy down so that her heart rate would slow. Immediately, I thought of Avery and instantly started breathing and focusing deeper…I remember thinking, “For Avery,” at that moment. I was given an oxygen mask to give me some energy – I hated it, wanted it off, and somehow felt like it was suffocating me. It came off shortly afterward, but I think it gave me that last bit of energy I needed to get her big pumpkin through.

The ring of fire came along and I remember trying to push through my thoughts of “oh my goodness that hurts!” and having to back down a couple of times. Avery was ready! Then I pushed with all my might to bring her out and success! After the head was out, I didn’t feel the body coming out much, even though her shoulder ended up causing a small second degree tear in my perineum (three painless stitches, thanks to the AWESOME Heather), and I received a few small lacerations as well.

Daddy got to cut the umbilical cord and also catch Avery as she was born. He was absolutely the happiest man I have ever seen, and I was so proud of him.

I still had not opened my eyes even as Avery was laying on my stomach.

Her cord was short, so I couldn’t pull her all the way up to me, even if I was capable of doing so. Once she was out, I sat there, still with my eyes closed, completely in shock that I had accomplished the amazingness that is birth. They even had to tell me over and over, “Jaquelyn, look! Your baby girl! Jaquelyn!” until I came out of my daze enough to be in the present. Avery was the most cone-shaped adorable bean I had ever seen and even though it took me a while to work up the energy for a smile, I was so proud. Thomas was bawling and I remember reaching up to touch his face in a thank you.

Heather had to massage my uterus a bit to detach the placenta, I birthed it, and then she showed me the different parts of it. I was bleeding pretty heavily and I was given an herbal remedy to stop it, but what got it to stop was Heather.

“Jaquelyn, you need to stop bleeding, right now.”

And I stopped. Right then. It is amazing what your brain is capable of.

I got cleaned up, Avery was given a little beanie, daddy held her for the first time, and I was positioned in bed so I was comfortable. Then Avery and I got to start our breastfeeding adventure with the help of Heather. It took a little while, but she ended up latching well and it was wonderful to know I was nourishing my baby girl!

Soon Julie was preparing a pot pie for me, and Thomas was feeding me water and granola bars. We talked, Heather inspected my lady parts to see what sort of action needed to be taken on the damages, and we just got to bond with Avery for a couple hours. Then we agreed to have her weighing and measuring and checkup done as well as her vitamin K shot and screening for Rh-. I had to get a shot because she was positive, and she had to get a prick which she actually handled really well.

Avery’s foot hanging from the weigher.

We laid in our new family glory for hours, just talking and kissing on her, and eating snacks to replenish. My grandma, aunt Jeniffer, and uncle Johnny came by right before we left to say their hellos, and we put our little bean in the car seat and drove to get sandwiches from Which Wich, a Dr. Pepper from the gas station, and we settled into our bed, exhausted, happy, and a new family of three.